“Identity crisis”, you are not going to win!

Sometimes, I feel like time is running a marathon and I’m going to work on a restaurant until my varicose veins (Reverso, n.d) in my legs exploit and I’m ready to go to another interstellar space beyond this universe…

“Identity crisis” is the phrase that probably has better defined me these last 3 years. How can I have time to work, study, have a social life, work out and remember to eat? Not one person can do all this in one day: losing weight, working out, eating healthy, succeeding in your job, improving relationships (Wess, 2006), networking, looking for work opportunities all the time, creating content, improving your marketing, becoming more confident, having one, two or three different jobs to pay the bills (Dena, 2015), learning design, learning videography, learning typography, learning software, painting, drawing, dealing with low pays and long hours of work, fixing the house, improving your finances, walking the dog, also, being a good person, having a social life and, as if it wasn’t enough, waking up early after being at work until 2am! I am exhausted just reading about it…

Crisis again… This is just too much for me. Now that I think about it, I’ve being in this crisis since I finished high school 10 years ago. I feel it’s never enough, no matter how much I study, how many degrees I have, or how much I try and try… I am going to die dealing with fussy customers whose only difficulty is to choose between a ‘2010 Ruca Malen Gran Reserva Malbec’ for $240 a bottle, or a “2012 Humberto Canale Cabernet Sauvignon” for $270. That is my weekly rent in a bottle of wine! Moreover, speaking English with Spanish accent can be sexy and funny in some aspects, but is such a competitive and exclusive design industry (Dena, 2015), who is going to hire someday who can’t tell the difference in the pronunciation between bear, beard, bird, beer?

Right after finishing a book, an article or self-help and creative motivation videos, I immediately feel relieved and think, “Yes! I can do it”, “Yes I trust in myself”, but after a while, I forget about it, and start freaking out again. But, “don’t give up, Roci” is what I repeat in my mind all the time. Who said it was going to be easy? Who said that the design industry was easy? Life is not over after my 30’s, and I know what I want, I love what I do, I know where I am going and I will get there eventually.

Thanks for reading me and sorry for my verbal catharsis.

REFERENCE

Dena, C. (2015, February 10). Week 2: How Are We The Same? Retrieved 17 June 2015, from https://medium.com/self-directed-practitioners/week-2-how-are-we-the-same-d12edb71b5e8

Reverso, D. (n.d.). Traducción varices inglés | Diccionario español-inglés. Retrieved 17 June 2015, from http://diccionario.reverso.net/espanol-ingles/varices

Wess, S. (n.d.). Seanwes. Retrieved 17 June 2015, from https://www.facebook.com/seanwes?fref=photo

Why Time Goes Faster as You Get Older. (n.d.). Retrieved 17 June 2015, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201004/why-time-goes-faster-you-get-older

29 Awesome Behind-The-Scenes Photos From The Sets Of Classic Movies. (2014, December 7). Retrieved 19 June 2015, from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/14144186306233591/